I have had a few people ask me “do you miss it?”  Well…how can I possibly answer that?  Sure, I enjoyed Ryan and I’s dinners, trips to movies, trips to listen to live music, or goodness, even a full night’s sleep.  But what people don’t realize is what I WILL miss.  Soon Gage will sleep through the night…not need a bottle and be able to feed himself…go to the bathroom alone (okay maybe we won’t miss changing diapers)…walk across the room without needing my hands to support him…and the new baby will be right behind him.  I will miss those middle of the night coos and kisses.  Those smiles between bites of sweet potatoes that seem to say “how did mommy know I liked these so much.”  I’ll miss seeing little toy cars on the floor and finding baby socks, bibs and pacifiers at the bottom of my purse.  Shortly after we had Gage, I overheard Ryan telling a friend of ours, ‘no one ever told me how much fun it is to be a parent!’ Which I had not thought about…but no one does tell you about the fun stuff…which is the mass majority! Ryan and I have our whole lives together.  There will always be a new restaurant to try, a new movie to see, a new musician to tune into.  But these moments I have with my children…they are fleeting.  Before we were parents, the parents we knew always talked about how time flies.  My day literally crawls until the second I get to see Gage and it is like someone hits fast forward.  This past year has easily been the most amazing we have ever had. So to anyone that asks, I miss you and our conversations my friend…but these experiences I am having right now fill my heart with a joy I never knew possible.

Walt wrote a song called “One of Those Moments.” It is on his album Rivertown. Go buy it.  Listen to it, and thank me later.  Tonight, in the middle of a restaurant full of people…while others all over the world were at movies, the Cotton Bowl, at a concert, in a play, or stuck somewhere they really didn’t want to be, I was lucky.  I had as Walt says one of those moments I will keep for the rest of my life.  The two most important men in my life smiling at me from across the room.

http://new.music.yahoo.com/walt-wilkins/tracks/down-the-track–45211776

I couldn’t find a you tube video of it, so go buy it…you’ll understand the greatness.

One of my favorite lines…

“We left some nails in the wall and some marks on the floor.  Looks like we’re taking everything, but we are leaving a whole lot more when we go, down the track.”

Just go listen.

“Take one more look, leave a tear, say a prayer, bless the key.”

But I haven’t forgotten about Paris or the Pacific Ocean…not yet at least. I’m creating a big o spreadsheet of the places I want to go, the years I want to go and the money we need to save to get to said places. You should come with us…on the schedule…Greece, Italy, Alaska, Hawaii…

We left the house about 9, stopped in Hillsboro to feed Gage, Waco to feed mom and dad, Georgetown to feed Gage, then booked it on to our home away from home, the Fredericksburg Inn and Suites.  Gage cried from Georgetown until Johnson City when he became fascinated with my water bottle.  Our friends were already by the pool and saw us coming in…Gary even brought Ryan a cold Negro Modelo to cool him off before we unloaded the car!  Melinda Ann held Gage (while Cherron took pictures of him) while Ryan and I unloaded the car.  I almost immediately hit the grocery store for picnic items, water and cash.  That evening Gage went swimming for the first time.  He didn’t seem to think much of it…didn’t smile, didn’t cry, didn’t splash, just kinda looked around like “what are they doing to me now?”

Sunday was nice.  After breakfast at the Inn we made sandwiches and headed out to Luckenbach.  It was a nice day, but hot so we only stayed a couple hours (plus we knew we would be back the next day for the 4th).  After resting in the room for a bit, we went down to the conference room where our friend Cherron had bought  food for like 100 people…20 steaks, pork chops, shrimp, vegetables, salad, a TON of fruit, cookies, cakes, smoked sausage and cheeses…not to mention ARRIBA salsas and chips (you can find then in the grocery stores and I HIGHLY recommend them)!  We helped as much as we could, trying not to get in the way.  JoAnne had decorated the room adorably in all sorts of festive 4th of July decor.  Not to mention the variety of beverages available…from Sangria with fresh fruit, to ice chests upon ice chests full of any beer or soda you can name. Gage did extremely well, but as the room filled, he started to lose patience.  I took him upstairs to feed him, then Ryan and I took shifts in the room to go visit with our friends downstairs. 

On the 4th we woke up ready for breakfast at the Rather Sweet Bakery and Cafe.  We dressed quickly after Gage woke up and hustled out the door.  People had already begun to line the street for the parade which was about to begin…not us, we just kept truckin.  After a peach scone, peach muffin, ham and cheese omelette and and a bacon and cheddar scone (don’t forget the coffee…ooooooo the coffee), we headed back out to the street to catch the end of the parade.  There is a new pie place on Main Street on our way back to the hotel so I made Ryan and Gage stop with me while I got a slice of apple and peach pie to go (they ended up being okay, but nothing too special).  We visited with friends by the pool for a while before making sandwiches and once again heading out to Luckenbach.  We setup camp in the shade next to a group of friends.  We laughed, listened and showed off Gage all day!  He was wonderful.  I kept him cool with a little handy dandy invention of my own which kept him quite happy. 

We left Luckenbach about 6:00 and headed back into Fredericksburg.  For those of you familiar with the road between 290 and Luckenbach, you’ll be sad to know (thanks to Neal Brown and Clay Wilkins’ explanation for me) that two things are killing the oak trees along the road!  Oak decline and oak wilt.  Hundreds of dead oaks which broke my heart!  Anywho, we stopped to get Ryan something to eat on our way back to the Inn.  We got mommy and Gage bathed and cooled down, then all went back down to the conference room to see what everyone was up to.  Cherron had once again outdone herself!  She had bought hot dogs and burgers and was grilling once again.  What an amazing lady.  After Ryan and I visited for a while, we went to bed rather early that evening (prepping ourselves for another long drive the next morning). 

Tuesday we woke up late…9:00 late!  I don’t remember when Gage has EVER slept that late, but we were thankful he did.  After loading up the Nissan, we hit Rather Sweet Bakery to load up on peach muffins and scones.  The drive home went much smoother than the drive there.  Gage slept most of the drive…only woke up once so we stopped and fed him in Georgetown…not long after that, back to sleep he went. 

So his first road trip went very well…he made a ton of new friends (which all love him) and Ryan and I are learning how to travel with a baby. 

Love and hugs to all!

At baby school (which is how I plan to refer to it from now on) it did not get any easier. Text messages from friends and loved ones telling me they were praying and thinking of us helped tremendously.

Each day has gotten a little more bearable. Still not happy about leaving him, but I have sooooo treasured the time I have had with Gage. In the past three months I have learned more about what it is to love than I could ever imagined. God is so amazing and having Gage has taught me so much about what the words “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son…” mean.

So as we adjust to this new stage of parenthood…the “baby school” phase, I ask for your continued prayers and support. We will survive…

How do you define a “friend?”  Is it someone you talk to regularly on the phone?  Or maybe someone you make a point to see on a regular basis?  Or maybe it is someone who’s phone number you have in your phone…or even further, maybe it’s someone’s number in your phone, that when they call, you always answer.  Or maybe it is someone who you may only speak to every year or two, but when you do, the conversations are meaningful and real…or maybe completely goofy and fun. To me it is funny how we define friends.  Within the past year, I have come to redefine my definition of “friend.”  I have found that in my opinion, I think I am “friends” with quite a few more people than I truly am.  For example, I would do things for this person…pick them up at the airport, send them a get well/birthday/sympathy card, invite them out to concerts etc. But when that person never reciprocates those actions….does that just make me naive to the fact that they really do not want my friendship…does friendship require give and take on both sides?   When does my kindness or all-inclusive style turn into “not catching the drift.” Maybe the reason they decided not to come to XYZ event nor respond really is  their polite way of saying, no offense, but we aren’t friends.  I still think we should all be good Christians to one another, but maybe the word “friend” is too powerful.  After all…even from the time we are kids we make friend distinctions.

Best Friend – first person you call with exciting/heartbreaking news; can be yourself, say anything to them and they love you regardless

Close Friend – one whom you would ask to be in your wedding; see at least once a month

Childhood Friend – those friends with whom you have all your school memories; probably see at weddings, reunions, and showers, but may not have their phone numbers

College Friend – those with whom you have your most memorable moments in your late teens and early twenties

Lifelong Friend – those friends who you have such a tight bond with, you can go months, sometimes years without speaking, but it doesn’t matter…you are forever intertwined

Funny Friend – self explanatory

Distant Friend – two fold…may be literally living far away or one that you are friends with through another friend

Work Friend – someone you may go to lunch with or take breaks with at work, but rarely see one another outside of the office

And here lately…Facebook Friend – anyone you have ever heard the name of or think you might have gone to school with…or might have see on an escalator at the mall once…

Please note there are many combinations…lifelong funny best friend, lifelong college best friend, lifelong best childhood friend…

So while I may be naive, does it really hurt for me to “pretend” we are friends?  Am I hurting anyone’s feelings by thinking we are friends when we are not?  If anything, it hurts me more than that person because I might get taken advantage of.  I’m just sayin’…

Something else I have done quite a bit of while at home is watch television.  I’ve starting limiting myself because it had gotten so out of hand.  Seemed like the television was on almost 20 hours of the day early on.  I watch the news in the morning now, usually a little around lunch, then none really until the evening news …and instead of having the TV on all night, I set the sleep timer anytime we turn it on.  One show I had forgotten the greatness of is The Cosby Show.  How long has it been since you have seen an episode?  It had been more than ten years for me.  There isn’t another show on television right now that reaches the ENTIRE family.  Appealing to kids and adults.  I find myself laughing outloud at things that I guess didn’t make much sense to me growing up, but now for some reason are crystal clear.  Anywho, I encourage you all to keep it on next time you are flipping channels…I doubt you will regret it.

Not sure if it can be labeled as a rite of passage or anything, but Gage had his pictures taken in the bluebonnets.  Ryan mapped out a drive through Ennis like he planned last year and we set out one afternoon.  The crop is not as full as it was last year, but there were still plenty to see and sniff.  The wind was CRAZY so the pictures of us with him did not turn out too well…maybe next year.  I’ll post pictures later.

Can you believe Easter is almost here…this will mark the Easter Bunny’s first official visit to the Smith household.  Looks like we need to go find some long carrots.  I found Gage an Easter basket at Walmart.  What ever happened to the plastic ones we used to have as kids…now they are all tricked out…baseballs, footballs, covered in bunnies…I mean, I loved my plastic multi-colored sturdy one that lasted ten years.  Oh well.  Guess I need to hunt a little more.  I finally settled on a solid light blue one without a handle.  Since he won’t be able to carry it around this year, it’s more of the put him in it and take a picture variety.  Also bought dye to color eggs.  I have to say that is purely for mommy though…I have always loved coloring Easter eggs!  Now to find an Easter outfit.  I had one picked out at the mall the other day, but after waiting ten minutes in line at the Gap and the checkout girl clearly not caring about the long line, but more about flirting with the current guy in line, I put it back and walked out.  Maybe Ryan will go with me to the stand alone store by our house with me this weekend to get the outfit…plus he’ll get a say so if he likes it or not.

Love and joy to all!

The rest of last week was somewhat…stressful.  I kept trying to write the blog, but was interrupted consistently with a fussy baby.  Granted, he started the week sleeping in his newborn stuff and in his newborn bed…and ended the week in 3 month outfits and sleeping flat in pack n’ play!  So while he was fussy…I think growing about an inch or more in a week must be pretty rough on the little man’s body.  Thankfully, the growth spurt seems to have slowed and today he was finally back to normal baby.

Friday night I had my first prolonged trip away from Gage.  Ryan and I met friends for dinner then went to see Lori McKenna play over in Dallas.  I would have done better I think if we hadn’t had to leave him with my mom just screaming.  Didn’t help that when I called to check on him after dinner…he was still screaming.  Ugh. About an hour into the show, I excused myself to the car to take care of Gage’s midnight snack and called again.  He had calmed down, so I did as well…that is until Lori sang a sweet song that reminded me of him and I immediately was ready to go home.  Again, one of those things that other moms tell you that you will experience, but doesn’t feel real until you have to do it yourself…leaving your child is never easy…also made me realize I need to plan a few more outings like that to prep myself for going back to work in May!

Saturday was wonderful.  We had beautiful friends from all over our great state in town and all got to meet Gage!  He was a champ and even though he’d been fussy…he turned on the charm and was an angel for our visitors! SOOOO thankful for that!  Melinda Ann, her sister, mom and Autumn all came over that morning and we got to have lunch with Jennifer!  Talk about a lady charmer

Now onto not so baby related news.  Soon after Gage was born I realized I couldn’t unfasten the velcro on his diapers with my left index finger…which was frustrating, but I have been coping.  Last week I FINALLY realized what it was!  The last little portion of my left index finger doesn’t move anymore!  I can’t bend it forward or back!  I can feel it fine though. I was prepared to just deal with it sense it doesn’t hurt, but Ryan insisted I go to the doctor.  So today I saw a specialist.  She wants to do an MRI to confirm, but apparently a tendon has come detached and it needs surgery!  HA!  She kinda laughed at me about it.  She said normally people that have it remember how they got it.  I was like well, I just had a baby…and if it happened when at the hospital or while in labor, the pain is all relative   She giggled.  So I might have hand surgery in my future!

Lots of other stuff to update folks about, but both of my boys are sleeping which means I should be too. Love to all! Remember to click on Gage’s picture to the right to see recent pictures of him!